there is some new art

http://www.molldoll.etsy.com/

Did Har Mar get a sex-change and move to Ames IA?

she also has a kick ass tribute to gem sweaters (the video features a 'keytar'...intrigued?)

Can You Handle the Cute?

The Trainablez - Now on the Web!!

Their fans demanded it and now their prayers have been answered . . .

SEE . . . the Trainablez... (well, eventually)
HEAR . . . the Trainablez... (http://www.myspace.com/thetrainablez)
TASTE . . the Trainablez... (anytime you're in the Tri-State area. we'll come to you!)
TOUCH. . . the Trainablez... (see above)
SMELL . . . the Trainablez... (Skratch n' Snif stickers coming soon!)

You've tried the best, now try us!

My Cat Is Wierdly Evil, by Adam Grigg

First, when it wants food, it begs and begs until your head almost explodes; and then it barfs up these hairballs all over the place, and usually exactly the same place where we step, where we sleep, or mostly in any unexpected place. You never know when you are going to step in puke.

And now, about the cat being irritating: if you let the cat out just before you go to bed, it wants back in at 2 am. Most of the time, just when you get calm, the cat knocks something really large over and you have a gigantic mess to clean up.

To sum it up, the cat is just one of the strangest cats ever. If you are nice to it, it will be nice to you, but that doesn't subside the barfing. My cat is just weird.

Editors note: This was written by corespondent Adam Grigg nearly a year ago, but due to a filing accident was just recently rediscovered.

Aging Hipsters Party All Night Long, Become Accutely Aware of Joint Pain

Dateline: Friday Night, 9:00pm to 1:00am, Vermillion.

USD's hometown was once again of scene of aged debauchery as academic hipsters formerly known as Poison Stream visited the Friends of the Eagles Club. Early reviews were tepid, as the band insisted on playing "dance" hits such as "Biko".

As bemused revelers looked about in confusion, one was heard to observe: "I don't know. The drumming is okay, but it doesn't seem right to dance to a song about racial hatred and murder . . ." More downbeat numbers followed, causing much muttering and snide slurs against the band's ability to "rock hard".

But then the aging party-ers got more than they bargained for when up and coming youngsters the Breakout Boys hit the stage. The OTA attendees soon realized that maybe they weren't able to keep up with the kids any more.

Then, to add injury to insult, the Band formerly known as Poison Stream decided to "rock out" for their final set with their covers of "White Wedding" and "Folsom Prison Blues", leaving the more elderly concert goers no choice but to continue rocking, despite being gradually let down by their aged joints. Library worker R. Abeln was heard to exclaim, "Man, my thighs are killing me! I'm going to be feeling this tomorrow!" At least 2 hepsters were reported to have to thrown their necks out during the performance.

There was some small comfort for two of these older party girls as a late night visit to all-night grocery store HY-Vee saw them being addressed as "two hot, sexy dames". This compliment (coming from suave soon-to-be high school English teacher, Justin Walker) almost made up for the fact that they were repeatedly passed up by young men during the night due to the fact that they were surrounded by young women.

Early reports this morning indicate Abeln is indeed 'feeling it" and is taking Ibuprofen for her knee pain.

Vegetarian Acquires Taste for Human Flesh

When asked for comment, "Braaaaaaaainsssssss. Meeeeeee likeeeeeeey" was all that could be made out between gnawing gulps of victim.

At least Ma Wortham will be happy she's getting some protein now.

What Exactly Is Al Afraid of.....?

...the creeeepy spider, the spoooky jack-o-lantern, or this incredibly suave, very intense, soon-to-be high school English teacher?