Reality

This handsome young lad is now old and stale.

Dreams of a Sock-Free Lifestyle Crash Against the Rocks of Harsh January Climes

Temperatures close to 40 degrees on 4 separate occasions in January forced Florida resident Molly Wortham to don her most-hated of accessories. "I wasn't sure if I even still owned socks, until those wind-chills made me feel like my feet would freeze off, so it was either frostbite or placing my feet in the horrible bondage known as hosiery, I chose hosiery, I'm not proud of giving up on my dreams, but it was survival"
Wortham declined to comment on how many times sweaters figured into her wardrobe this January.

Paper Making

Okay, so now that I'm an official reporter for the HIA news, I've got share my obsession with making paper from plant fibers. I'm sure you all know that paper comes from plants. Most paper is made from trees. Most asian paper is made from kozo ( a relative of the mulberry). You can make paper out of almost any plant but some plants have more fibers than others. I just finished a batch of osage orange paper. Its in the mulberry family but has thorns on it. First you boil the branches, and peel off the bark and underlying fiber. Then you cook it in soda ash for about an hour. That breaks down the non fiber part fo the plant. THe bark is peeled off at this time. Next you blend the fiber and you have pulp and can go ahead and make paper.

My favorite papers so far come from milkweed bast fiber. Bast fiber comes from the stem of the plant. I've made paper from 4 species of milkweed and its all so different looking. Its soft as cotton. pretty incredible.

Okay. the agony from my foot injury is really killing me. I want pity.

waa waa waaaaaaaaaaaa

Okay, So I'm thinking as I am laying here in bed, what did i deserve to be in this condition. It all started at the grocery store, I bot grocs and forgot I had put water in the underside of the cart. As I was leaving I thot, cool I just shoplifted.

I get home and I put out birdseed for the wild birds. I also decide to take twig cuttings of various trees in my yard to test them for bast fibers for paper making. As I'm coming in I hit a patch of ice at thecorner of my house and twist and fall and writhe in agony. I was barely able to get up to crawl in the house.

I whine about for a while, and finally muster the energy to get my groceries out fo the car. Thats when I notice. They charged me for my shoplifted water. Do they have an ankle hieght scanner. or did checkboy just notice it and charge me. Anyway. I thot karma was knocking me on my ass for shoplifting. but i didnt shoplift. SOOOOOOOOO why did i fall and sprain, or possible break my ankle? PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEE.

Learn More About Swiss People

The Swiss, well known for chocolate, bank accounts, and their precious neutrality can now add fabulous taste in art to that list.
A Swiss stranger known only as Ramses, recently walked into the Melvin Gallery at Florida Southern College. There he become enthralled by the genius of the sculptures of Gregory Wortham. This led him to gaze upon them longingly, which then led him to purchase 2 sculptures for his private collection in Geneva. This led the Hia News to declare the Swiss the coolest ever.

Call for Submissions

The world has been waiting patiently for the return of the HIA News. Will you answer the call? The News is now accepting reportage, declarations, manifestos, lewd photographs, shout-outs, and fightin' words. All you have to do is accept your invitation to be a site author. If you haven't received one of these coveted invitations, please direct all supplication to The Editor at molldoll72 at hotmail dot com.

Note: HIA News accepts fiction, non-fiction, hyperbole, and outright lies. That is all.