the unbearable cuteness of Tito-monster edition

so, it turns out that puppies will grow....
and that they will also start chewing on your house.. and your other dogs.

Stephen and Elvis

I felt the need for a little more Colbert Christmas:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

A Colbert Christmas: Colbert/Costello Duet

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Or this bit of awesomeness:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

A Colbert Christmas: Peace, Love and Understanding

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

OK, I can't stop myself:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

A Colbert Christmas: Another Christmas Song

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Divine!

Mystery Video.

A Video.

Elf

Is anyone sucked in by the xmas movie Elf with Will Ferrel. They keep replaying it on USA and i keep getting sucked in. Its a bit of a ridiculous movie. But the more I watch it, it seems less ridiculous and more real. I love his Welcome Santa display at the department store. Ed Asner makes a good Santa and Bob Newhart as papa elf. I want to be an elf. Which reminds me of Rudolph and the little elf that wants to be a dentist. He gets caught by his boss fixing dolls' teeth. Hermie is his name, and I totally identify with him. Why am I just a misfit, I am not just a nitwit, You can't fire me, I quit. Why Don't I fit in!!!!

Cute Pets, Rapid City Style

Colbert Christmas

One especially lovely clip from the Colbert Christmas:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

A Colbert Christmas: John Legend

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Dig the close up of the nutmeg grater!

Note to Sanaa's lunchers: if you go to colbertnation.com, you can see most of the show in clips.

The Unbearable Cuteness of Tito

Local Chug and Cohort Not Too Happy About Latest Pet Aquisition

Once secure in his place in the world, Fidel the chug is singing a different tune today. His home has been invaded by another pet. He did not take seriously the warnings about how he was really off his cute game, and how he was "getting too big to cuddle".Here are a few photos that reveal the depth of Fidel's concern. Next up: you will see the reason for his troubled thoughts, and believe me, he should definitely be worried. Also for the record, his cohort Rosa is not too thrilled either.

Friends Bear Witness to Broom Jumping

(Vermillion, SD) - Two long-time HIA'ers, R. Abeln and A. Fish, were eyewitnesses to a broom-jumping ceremony held at the Clay County Courthouse, Friday, September 26.

While the bride and groom could not be reached for comment, Fish, who served as both best man and photographer, was quite self-congratulatory on his stellar fulfillment of these dual roles.

"During the nuptials I held proud and firm as, meanwhile, the bride totally practically lost it," reported Fish. "Her voice cracking and her eyes tearing, she so totally almost lost it -- but not me, no-siree."

"And my photos are the shuh-hizz! I am so proud of the way I used the unique architecture of the courthouse to grab some awesome pix!" bragged Fish. "I am so impressed with my own ability to compose a fabulous shot in the midst of hub-bub and tufty bits of wedding finery."

Meanwhile, Abeln, looking glamorous in her gilded maidron-of-honor frock, remarked on how terrific she looked for the ceremony. "While Katy and Mike were saying something about honoring and cherishing or something -- I wasn't really listening -- I caught my reflection in the polished wood of the courtroom table," remarked Ablen. "DAMN, I looked hot!"

While the couple jetted off to Omaha for a weekend honeymoon, Fish and Abeln stunned downtown Vermillion and Sioux Falls with their glamour and pizzazz. "Mike and Katy should get married every year!" shouted a gleeful Abeln as she danced on the tables at Raziel's. "Just look at all the hot, young college studs who can't take their eyes off me!"

Bottom Feeders

Had to post this, as the whole fish-in-urethra was a topic of discussion in Hermosa. No, it wasn't about Al. It was those damn biologists, Jeffe and Erica, trying to cram knowledge and facts into the conversation. Some people!

Once & Again: The Past and Pending by The Shins

I meant to post the video for "Past & Pending" by The Shins.

Like life, like death, music and the stunningly desolate landscape are beautiful. Together, they are almost incomprehensibly bittersweet. But you and I have always known that.

It's filmed on highways. And under bridges. I watched this video several dozen times after I got the news, and I wept and I wept and I wept. But always because of what once was. No, don't believe that. Because that which once was was no longer. And then wouldn't be again.

A wise man -- I'm fairly certain I caught his name as Side Arm Pete -- said: "And after the tears, there is love." Humbly, I would add: "And still before, and in between the tears, there is love."

Whimsy may be a luxury of the undestroyed. I may be a snob, but I've never trusted people who haven't suffered. No: who haven't known true suffering but bleat or bitch because they think they have? Anyway, I love to imagine driving one of the old cars straight off of the HIA, to motor along the two-lanes I love most. After that I would wheel about the old hometown with circumstance and style.

I meant, before, to post this video. Why are French horns so beautiful? Is it because the fist is placed resolutely inside the trumpet? The Past and Pending (and Rilke's future, to be sure). Here are the words again, too:

As someone sets light to the first fire of autumn
We settle down to cut ourselves apart.
Cough and twitch from the news on your face
And some foreign candle burning in your eyes

Held to the past too aware of the pending
Chill as the dawn breaks and finds us up for sale.
Enter the fog another low road descending
Away from the cold lust, you house and summertime.

Blind to the last cursed affair pistols and countless eyes
A trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running
Feed till the sun turns into wood dousing an ancient torch
Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love.

Your name on my cast and my notes on your stay
Offer me little but doting on a crime.
We've turned every stone and for all our inventions
In matters of love loss, we've no recourse at all.

Blind to the last cursed affair pistols and countless eyes
A trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running
Feed till the sun turns into wood dousing an ancient torch
Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love.

It's a Tractor Hoedown!

Allegedly this is the final year for these square dancing tractors after decades of performances at Yankton's Riverboat days. I can't believe that they didn't start training wee lil' garden tractors to take over for the next generation of this pagentry . (Thanks to Lance at R-Pizza for the video footage)

The Past and Pending by The Shins

As someone sets light to the first fire of autumn
We settle down to cut ourselves apart.
Cough and twitch from the news on your face
And some foreign candle burning in your eyes

Held to the past too aware of the pending
Chill as the dawn breaks and finds us up for sale.
Enter the fog another low road descending
Away from the cold lust, you house and summertime.

Blind to the last cursed affair pistols and countless eyes
A trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running
Feed till the sun turns into wood dousing an ancient torch
Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love.

Your name on my cast and my notes on your stay
Offer me little but doting on a crime.
We've turned every stone and for all our inventions
In matters of love loss, we've no recourse at all.

Blind to the last cursed affair pistols and countless eyes
A trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running
Feed till the sun turns into wood dousing an ancient torch
Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love.

Side Project Assuages Grief, Sense of Betrayal Felt by 'Trainablez' Fans

Imagine a 'Guns and Roses' composed soley of 5 Axl Roses and you can get some idea of how long one will have to wait to hear any new music from the 'Trainablez'. That is why Roxy and Jeff have offered up this "video single" the A side is a Jefe original, while the B side is a 'Decemberist' cover.

A SIDE


B SIDE

some things are bigger than you are

i lost my cell phone

again.

I Need Ideas

I know. This is weird coming from me, a self-proclaimed "idea-person" (ie, I'm more about ideas than action.)

Here is the deal: I have (wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles) a Saturday off at the beginning of July. In fact, I have a 5 day break over the Independence Day weekend (Thurs-Mon).

This needs to be taken advantage of. I'm thinking some sort of trip needs to be taken.

The problem is (and it's significant), I'm pretty broke. And any extra doe-rae-mi should be put aside for my relocation.

Anyway . . . I'm looking for ideas . . . any thoughts, anecdotes?

this is it

the 300th post to the HIA news!

I found my cell phone

You can reach me now.

Topeka

So the theme this month is "origins of city names"! Last week my neighbor comes running over to tell me about a program by some neighbor down the way on the origin of the name Topeka. She said, Topeka is an indian word for "a good place to dig potatoes" When I moved here I heard Topeka means "a good place to grow potatoes". I sort of thought, "highly unlikely, the plains indians didn't grow potatoes". My neighbor explains to me that the potato that was referred to was the prairie potato or better known as the prairie turnip - scientific name Psoralea esculenta. Now it all made sense. This member of the bean family has an enlarged root that was a main staple of the plains Indians.
I've tried growing it with little success. Seems it only does well when growing in its native habitat. For all you S. Dakotans, it is found across the state of SD too.
What is also interesting about Topeka is that there is also a Topeka, IL and Topeka, IN. The Kansa indians were located from there. So now i wonder if those were the good places to grow potatoes and the city of Topeka, KS just inherited the name.
Here is the link to the story.
http://www.barbburgess.com/research-topics/prairie-potato-topeka/topeka-s-roots-the-prairie-potato

Alabama City a Symbol of Hope

"Since the beginning of man's awareness, the rainbow, spanning the horizons, has been a mystic symbol, displayed in the heavens to signal the passing of yet another storm and the birth of new hope for mankind."

Quick Answers to Burning Questions

I squeezed a few research minutes into my busy social calendar. I have been to the hotel breakfast twice already, and plan to make another trip to the front desk to check for the books I am impatiently awaiting to arrive from Amazon sellers. I also need to take my work clothes, caked with puke-smelling mud down the hall to the washer machine. I can't really count that as part of my social calendar since I don't usually run into people in the hall. Now, if I were taking them into the Rainbow City laundromat, then I would count it. I almost always have a conversation there. Like this one last week: "Excuse me, ma'am. Did you just take your clothes out of this washer? Would you mind looking to see if you find a sock like this one?"

I don't have a car this weekend, so I'm not going to go anywhere. I lost my cell phone, so I don't have to worry about all those people who never call me anyway interrupting me. I should have time to do even more research. Here's what I've found so far:

"Rainbow City was named after U.S. Highway 411, called Rainbow Drive, which runs through the middle of our city. Some of our older citizens say it was named after Alabama’s Rainbow Division that fought in World War I."

"The 42nd Rainbow Division was formed in August 1917 of National Guard units from 26 states and the District of Columbia. After Chief of Staff Major Douglas MacArthur remarked that the Division "would stretch over the whole country like a rainbow," the coalesced national guard units were christened Rainbow Division. As the war progressed Douglas MacArthur was promoted to commander of the 84th Brigade and finally to commander of the Rainbow Division."

I don't know about you guys, but I think it's funny that a town might have been named after a highway.

I wonder...

how did Rainbow City get its name? Was it because they have a way more than usual number of rainbows? One day did some one say, "hey we sure get alot of rainbows around here maybe we should call our little burg Rainbow City!". Or was it just because someone thought it sounded optimistic? Or were their founders just fond of rainbows? I wonder if there is anyone who could find out?

Daily Rainbow 3

Daily Rainbow 2

Rainbow of the Day

South Dakota "just not that into" expatriate

On a recent visit to her home state, Molly Wortham was shocked at the chilly reception she got from "the sunshine state".

"South Dakota and I go way back, I mean we lived together for multiple decades, and I am a little taken aback by the cold shoulder I got on my latest visit. I go there a couple times a year to reconnect, but this time i think South Dakota might be trying to tell me something. I got better treatment from Nebraska, and I was only with Nebraska for 4 years. I don't know why South Dakota could not just come out and say that it does not want me back. "

Wortham plans on making 1 more trip to try to mend fences with South Dakota, but she is realistic about the prospect.

"Seems to me South Dakota is always running hot and cold, I am going to be a little more careful with my timing, but I do realize that this might be the end of our relationship as we knew it. Maybe we can still be friends, I just don't know. Time will tell I guess. Hopefully next time I see South Dakota, things will have warmed up."

Alabama Worker Practices Interaction With Local Bookstore Clerk

I had an interesting conversation with a clerk at the only bookstore in Etowah County. (The clerk informed me the only used bookstore closed down last year. ) I was looking for Choke by Chuck Palahnuik because it is the June book for an online bookclub I wanted to join. He said, "Really? There's an on-line booklcub reading a story about a sex addict who cons people for a living?" He was even more suprised when I told him it came from a list of 1001 books you must read before you die. He said he was glad he wasn't Palahnuik, with all the whack stuff in his head. When I mentioned I was here from Michigan he said "We don't see many people here from the Big Mitten." I think I'll have to use that from now on.

Being a little rusty on this conversaion with actual humans thing, I neglected to find out all kinds of things. Maybe I'll go back next Saturday and see if I can talk to someone again.

Small Gay Haven Found in Alabama

To get anywhere I want to be from my hotel I seem to find myself on Rainbow Drive which takes me through Rainbow City. I didn't expect to find such liberal mindedness here in the deep south, which is just a sign of my own prejudice and preconceived notions.

Fidel, the Chug has no use for "pet palace".

pet palace? makes me yawn...

it would be a betrayal of all my brothers who gave their lives to the revolution for me to get into a pet palace.

i am not going to get into that thing.

i know i would look cute in it, but i am not getting in that thing.

i am walking away from your stinking pet palace.

If I Had a Camera,

I'd camera in the morning, I'd camera in the evening, I'd camera all the live long day. I would camera a nice sunrise shot accross the pasture with the Alabama hills on the horizon. I'd camera up some pine trees, and some mudholes and lots of bugs, but not too many pretty ones. I'd camera this groovy thunderstorm from my hotel window even though it wouldn't really show up that great because thunderstorms through windows rarely do.

Worker Hits Milestone In Alabama Woods

Gadsden, AL Long time worker in the-out-of-doors, Denise Hardesty finally executed a respectable "farmer's blow" today. She had given up all hope of ever successfully dishcarging snot from one nostril while pressing the other closed with a finger, and had not tried the method in years. She admitted such failure had been a "point of shame" and that she covered up this lack of skill by always carrying tissue. In fact, this new skill might not have been achieved had she not distintegrated her tissues in the wash yesterday.

Today, in the woods for a 10 hour shift while suffering a severe head cold, Hardesty found ample opportunity to practice, and eventually succeeded in blowing snot cleanly out of her nose and not onto her clothing. "I feel pretty darn good about it," she said. "I mean, I don't think of it as a real resume-padder or anything, but every new achievement feels good. I honestly didn't think this one was possible."

I wonder what the sock/bug situation will be like in South Dakota?

Last year I don't think I had to wear socks...though it did get rather chilly a couple times. I remember the bug bites though, and I will be bringing bug repellent.

Sock Aversion Disorder Case Turns up in Michigan

Short term Florida resident Denise Hardesty found herself complaining about having to wear socks one chilly Michigan May morning. Though she only resided in Florida for 4 months, she had quickly become a delicate tropical flower. "We do occasionally see this happening with stays of short duration," said sock-free lifestyle advocate Molly Wortham "Unfortunately for Ms. Hardesty, there is no known cure for this condition. That is, except to move to Florida."

3 More Might Have Been TV Shows

Becky in the City
Dogs of Hazard
Zippy Under Fire

Long Lost Quotes from the HIA of Yesteryear (or at least temporarily misplaced and ignored)

"Yeah, me and my dog keep everyone in stitches" -molly

"I can't remember if I licked anything really cold; and I know I
never picked up a porcupine." -Claude

Uncredited:

"We didn't have nintendo--we just hurt each other."

"By all rights, Pat shouldn't even like us."
"No, he should shoot us on sight."

"My life is so much simpler now that I no longer work in human services."

Cheap Breakfast in the Big City

At the corner of Glisan and 30th in Portland, OR you can get breakfast for under $5 at the Pub on the corner. And maybe the bartender/waitress with tattoos up both arms will serve you up eggs and hashbrowns and maybe her band will be playing there at night.

How come I only just now

am hearing of Pangea Day? And it's only 2 weeks awake.

Caption Contest (Closes Sunday)

Read about this caption contest . I'm currently winning, and you all are a lot funnier than I am. There's a $10 gift certificate involved.

TV Shows That Should Have Been

Oslo Nice
Mad About Everything
Jason Walker, Rapid City Librarian
Katy McBeem
Hermosa, 57744
PrairieWatch

Downsizing Reaches HIA News Office

Lakeland, FL Archivist for the HIA News, Denise Hardesty, was fired last weekend when the shocking depth of her neglect was discovered. After years of carting boxes of chaotic, mismatched files around for years, she finally sifted out all relating to the HIA News. While Issue #1 was proclaimed lost, master pages of issues 2-6 were pieced together. Also found was a folder containing unpublished submissions and notes for possible future story lines. Completely lacking regret, Hardesty replied, "It was stupid job anyway. People just gotta let go of the past. "

and Denise asked about the tequila before she made a drink

"I don't want to use up your special tequila."
silly Denise, there is no tequila too special for you.

When I am not hanging out with Matthew, and wearing ridiculous things on my sleeves, I like to arrange flowers

Tiny Elvis

if you look closely, you can see...

There are aliens in it.

Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat.

The lonely pink flamingo...


My latest masterpieces from the River's Board of Director's dinner.

WTF

When did Mully start hanging out with Matthew McConaughey? And wearing curtain tassles on her sleeves?

Finally! A Reposity for Our Genius!

I have opened up a Flickr account for everyone to use and share pictures. It's called "Hermosa Institute of Art Photo Album" - you've probably gotten the email invitation already.

I've already put a few up (such as the fine example you see to the right) and will be adding more soon.

This will be a great resource for all of us to use, so start adding! If you have any trouble adding stuff, let me know and I'll give you the log on details.

Beach Bunny Swims in Gulf

Inspired by a visiting cousin, Beach Bunny Denise swims in the Gulf of Mexico with said cousin. Unfortunately there are no photos recording this event. Or fortunately, as the B.B's swimsuit is not exactly seaworthy.

Botany Boy is Back

and that makes me really happy!

French Sorrel

Have any of you hias ever had the pleasure of eating french sorrel? I've added it to my garden this year. Have you ever eaten the weed - sheep sorrel or sheep sour? It has the same flavor. I can't wait to use it in a salad. It has that delicious tartness. It looks similar to spinach. Whats really cool about it is that its perenniel...any kansas anyway.
I'm also trying lovage and burnet. Lovage has a celery flavor, Burnet has a cucumber taste. Also trying chervil, borage, and fennel. Do any of you hias use any of these herbs?

Spring Finally Sprung in Topeka

We had a nice day in the 60s today. I went hiking in the woods at the governors and hit a wet spot and fell completely down on my bottom. Didn't get hurt, but later ran into an ATA (Al Type Alert) and he fell down last winter and broke 4 ribs. I counted my blessing (1) that I only got muddy. Lets see, the midland fawn lilies are blooming in the woods, first wildflowers of spring.

FINALLY! World Premire Video!!!

Witness Jefe's solo venture (with a back up band comprised of several members from the Trainablez)

This thing with the Pufferfishes and the Jackals

just goes on and on, and now Fidel has gotten himself involved.

http://molldoll.etsy.com/

Denise has some awesome ideas

While we were at the craft show at Dinosaur World she suggested to our neighbors who had fingerpuppets amoungst their wares that we have a puppet show. It was a lot of fun, and it broke the ice with our neighbors. After several takes, we just visited for awhile, then we then told them how they should make a blog of all puppet shows to help sell their finger puppets, but then I think they started thinking we were crazy.

Since I've Been Told I Should Post More . . .

. . . you're going to have to put up with what I choose to post!

As I've said before, there's not a lot that goes on in my life . . . well, nothing I would want to put up for public consumption, anyway. So I have to post about other things. And people.

So . . . as many of you know, I have decided that my future lies with Queens of the Stone Age frontman, Josh Homme. And as you can see from this youtube clip, we're obviously meant for each other, because we have a very similar version of hell:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0vQfGhQspk

Denise, this is Dinosaur World.

You can do whatever you want, and you have to use your imagination.

but if you can do whatever you want, then how can you say you HAVE to use your imagination? That just does not make sense.

Beach Bunnies- Episode 4- Beach Bunnies Embrace Sporty Lifestyles

those 70 somethings are pretty tough

she is pretty pissed off about that last call, you can tell.

the very picture of grace under pressure

more grace courtesy of d.

Beach Bunny Enjoys Sunset Picnic

Vermillion Man O' the People Shares his Booty with the Community (*WINK*)

No, we don't mean THAT booty -he's been sharing that freely for years!!

After much nagging and whining and threats and bribes, A. Fish (Ladies Man - Man's Man - Man About Town) finally agreed to put some of his many pop-cultures treasures on display - Yes, it's "Al Fish's Kitsch-llection!"

And where better to do it than the public library - Vermillion's cultural hotspot!

Already the display has attracted a lot of attention - from the squeal of delight from the library staff to the teary-eyed nostaligia of the Baby Boomers to the fascinated gazes of the under 10 crowd.

This collection is only the tip of the iceberg and further installments are being negotiated.

Beach Bunny Travels Inland to Myaka State Park

A few weeks ago a beach bunny was spotted visiting Myaka State Park. She climbed a tower with her mother. The view was unusual for Forida in that they were able to see a great distance and look down on the tops of trees. Beach Bunnies are not noted for their ability to plan ahead. Descending, she commented how nice it would have been to bring a camera up the tower.

She and her parents went on a boat to look at birds and alligators. Here is an unusual picture of alligators:Here is what pictures of alligators usually look like: