Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Residents Beseech: "Eep-kay Ermillion-Vay on the own-Day Ow-Lay!"

(Somewhere Really Isolated and Not Navigable From Any Major Freeways in the Rural Midwest) - Residents of a small college town in the upper Midwest were troubled to find that they had recently been "discovered."

"We have been trying to fly below radar for quite some time now," said one anonymous resident. "But now that word has gotten out about the top-notch culinary, taxidermy, and lyrical talents of our locals, we're afraid the place is going to be swarming with defeated dot commers, Minnesotans -- and god it kills me to say it -- Floridians."

"Don't they see that once our comely country village is awash in those who wish to downsize their lifestyles, it will lose its inherent charm?" he added.

Once a stop on the counter-culture underground railroad, the unnamed rural community may now see fleets of Mini-Coopers and Jamba Juice huts dot its unfettered prairie landscape.

"I've already had several Californians and one Oregonian ask to see my work," confided one highly-private civil servant. "The one with the really expensive camera asked me for my autograph, but I noticed the words "Will Not Sue" on the paper I signed. Why Will instead of Sue? And why am I supposed to watch for the "Relocation Nation" column in the New York Times Style magazine?" she asked. "Should I be stocking up on felt from WalMart? What does it all mean?"

2 comments:

Boomer said...

Sorry, Sister, but the word is already out. Just drove by Mobridge's Travel and saw a Charter Bus special to your sleepy town. (Ok, not really, but you know it's just a matter of time)

mully said...

i was thinking about summering there, but you know how it is in Vermillion, it is ever so discovered now, i hear the civ is already raising its prices.