Located in lovely Lakeland Florida, our center will open anytime anyone who wants to pay to do some weeding shows up.
We offer excellent rates for the enjoyment of removing all types of exotic weeds including but not limited to: pig-taters, skunk weed, dog-fennel, sand-spurs, epiphytes, spurge, duckweed, and monkey-grass.
For a slight additional charge guests may remove Spanish moss(watch out for chiggers), or do thrip-picking, and palm grooming.
The deluxe package includes chopping a fire-hazard size pile of shedded palm-fronds, and cleaning out a really skanky pond.
Make your reservations today as limited spots are available.
(Price breaks are available for those afflicted with WHAD.)
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4 comments:
Ooo! I have ALWAYS wanted to yank out some pig-taters! Yeah, you made up that name, didn't you?
Oh, why do you taunt me with your foliage? I want to come in March, but the May issue is kicking my ass.
I don't know.... Can quiet, smalltown Lakeland handle the Britney/Anna Nicole-like frenzied media havoc that a visit from a high-profile celeb such as myself would be sure to wreak?
I just don't know...it's somewhat appealing, I GUESS...but I don't know if Lakeland has the infrastructure and hospitality industry to handle the international paparazzi....
Besides, the only symptom I have exhibited thus far has been the perfect shoveling...I've never experienced delusions about the morality of my friends... But I do want to use my own celebrity to help whore out Gregory's art. Hmm. I'll have to think about it; perhaps after I get the "real story" from Nee...
Often the saddest part of WHAD is the denial....
Believe me Mary, pig-taters are very real
Work, now there is a faceless obstacle to one's happiness.
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