Cute Pets, Rapid City Style

Poll Proves South Dakotans Ignorant

Rapid City, SD. Polls indicate a shocking ignorance among South Dakotans of the Dolly Parton song "Jolene." 100% of the five people surveyed said they had no knowedge of the song. While claiming to recognize the name Dolly Parton, not one of the individuals could name any song written by the Country star.

Pollster Denise Hardesty, clearly shaken, describes her reaction to the poll: "I was all excited to share my copy of the White Stripe's rendition of "Jolene" when it dawned on me that my friends had no idea what I was talking about. I mean, I've lived here over ten years and nothing has made me feel like I'm on another planet quite like this."

A Cute Dog If Not "The Cutest Ever"

Meet Bob Barker. He lives with Betty Barker, Amigo the Cat, and three humans in Rapid City, SD. When he was very young he broke one of his front legs jumping ON to a couch. He now has the habit of often holding his once broken leg up. While sitting, this gives him the affect of modesty as he hides his boy parts from view.

Clutter-Nut Seeks Help from Friends

Rapid City, SD-Trapped between an overwhelming desire to unclutter her life and a pathological inability to throw anything away, woman turns to friends for help.

Inspired by an "art happening" of an earlier decade, Denise Hardesty has begun putting her unwanted items into envelopes addressed to friends with the intention of mailing them.

"Granted it's more of a 'junk happening' and I'm not mailing to total strangers, but to people who know and love me, or at least talked to me in a coffee shop. After all if strangers call the cops because they receive really cool handmade original postcards from an unknown source, imagine what they'd do if they got an envelope full of broken jewellery or loose nuts and bolts? Not to mention all those used earplugs. No, I think I'm better off calling on the help of friends."

Library Staff Member Comes Up with Myriad Excuses in Article and Flurry of Comment Posting

Normally I just let these things run their course. As a fellow librarian in Rapid City will tell you, we are a reserved people who don't go in for grand-standing and displays of attention-seeking behavior. But when libraries and their employees are improperly maligned, it's just gone too far. I decided I have to step in and make some badly needed adjustments.

I haven't been holding out on any storylines and/or pics concerning a much-mentioned Muskrat and Pheasant. I think I told everyone where they could see pictures of the two shining examples of taxidermy and fashion potential when I was first gainfully employed at this institution, ie the Vermillion Public Library website, ie here: http://vpl.sdln.net/meet_muskrat_and_pheasant.htm

And for historical accuracy, it is spelled Musky and the Pheas. And yes it is true that it issung to Chico and the Man, not Benny and the Jets, as some people insist on doing.

Also, as Mully can attest, I had some technical 'problem's with posting that 'mysteriously happened' shortly after my return from Florida. Somehow my account invitation 'expired' and I wasn't able to post anything. I only very recently regained this ability . . Interesting that this should happen shortly before I was able to reveal all about my time in the land of sock-free living . . . Mully insists it had nothing to do with her. And, honestly, what had she to gain by it . . . So . . . who would benefit the most by silencing me . . . .? The evidence remains unclear.

As far as our musical projects - honestly, as the artist I can't be expected to also promote. Surely that' our cataloger's/manager's role.

Also, I have been maintaining a high-profile on my MySpace page (here if it is for proof: http://www.myspace.com/suspiciouslypleased), which takes up a LOT of my time. It's time-consuming constantly reassuring Depeche Mode, and Jarvis Cocker and the Furureheads and Editors and Franz Ferdinand and Derren Brown that I really am their friend, above and beyond MySpace. Creative people are so sensitive.

And those are my reasons.

Introducing Benjamin

Mr. Benjamin Wolfgang Batterham was born Monday 26 March, 7lbs - and 2 1/2 weeks early . That's his dad, Jon, holding him. Some of you may remember his mother, Danielle Franke, who grew up here in Rapid City. When I first moved to town she was one of Blaise Martin's roommates. She then went on to Africa (I can't remember where), Japan and back to Rapid. She now appears to have settled in London. Congratulations to Dani and Jon, and a hearty welcome to young Ben.

Emo Teen and Two Adults Latest Victims of Mind Control

RAPID CITY, SD. The mysterious entity responsible for making millions of people run for no apparent reason grasped control of 3 more residents this past week. While she had known many victims over the past 30 years, local woman, Denise Hardesty, had previously believed herself to be immune to such attacks. "There was no piercing noise, bright light, nor sharp pain in my head. I really don't know how they do it. One minute I'm making polite conversation about some race flyers on the kitchen table, the next minute I have a training schedule in one hand, a telephone in the other and I'm asking my niece if she wants to run a 1/2 marathon with me." The niece, Ashley Grigg, confimed the report but indicated a potential weakness in the mind-control-by-phone-line as she first believed she would merely be helping her aunt, not actually racing herself. Unfortunately for Grigg's father, former victim Brian Grigg, who had been free of mind control for 8 years, conversation about the race occurred in the vicinity of the couch he was lounging on and the next thing he knew he was outside running with the other two victims. The 3 have completed their first week of training and, though still bewildered, remain in high spirits. Hardesty claims one should remain positive claiming, "There's still hope we can regain control of our faculties before we reach double digit mileage." "It's ok, running's cool." added the younger Grigg.

Greetings from the home country

Forty degrees is returning to the great western Dakota today. I don't think I will go sockless and I might even wear a jacket. The cutest dog in the world will be getting a bath, but she won't mind in these temps.