Ewww.

Bad Cover Art is Good

This wacky cover comes from a website spotlighting bad bookcovers.

HIA and HIA-related Literati Do Northern Hills

Superbigmuch and her merry band of poetrix friends will be in Spearfish-Deadwood area for the Western Literature Association Conference and South Dakota Book Festival, Wednesday, Sept 30 - Monday, Oct 5.

I'm presenting a paper on the author Sui Sin Far entitled "Edith Maud Eaton: Myth or Mythbuster? Outsider Privilege, Insider Meta-Discourse, and the Construction of Chineseness as Sui Sin Far." My only regret is the too-short title.

Lee Roripaugh, Lindy Obach, Marcella Remund of USD and Pen Pearson of Northern State will be reading No-SoDakia outlaw cowgirl, naughty lapsed Catholic, nature gender sex-centric poetry for the modern aging woman in a panel at the conference.

Any HIA-er's in the area should come and see us, hear us, or at the very least do shots with us. Jason Walker, Rapid City Librarian?

Email me @ superbigmuch@msn.com.

VLP Poetry Reading and Slam featuring Lindy Obach

Join us for the Vermillion Literary Project Poetry Reading featuring Lindy Obach, followed by a POETRY SLAM, a competition for poets, Thursday, June 25, at 7 p.m., at the Coffee Shop Gallery, 24 W. Main Street, downtown Vermillion. Everyone is welcome; the event is free.

Just come up and watch (and enjoy good coffee), or if you have three poems you've written that you'd like to read, you can participate in the slam. Prizes awarded! For more information about VLP poetry slams, visit http://orgs.usd.edu/projlit/poetryslams.html .

About our featured writer: Lindy Obach teaches English courses at the University Center in Sioux Falls. She is also a Dakota Writing Project teacher-consultant.

In "Honor" of F'ing V (D) Day . . .

Despite my obviously sarcastic tone in the title, I did want to do som'fing nice for y'alls not on FaceBook (you lucky SOBs) . . . Here 'tis:

Green grow the rashes

Green grow the rashes, O;
Green grow the rashes, O;
The sweetest hours that e'er I spend,
Are spent among the lasses, O.

There's nought but care on ev'ry han',
In ev'ry hour that passes, O:
What signifies the life o' man,
An' 'twere na for the lasses, O.

The warly race may riches chase,
An' riches still may fly them, O;
An' tho' at last they catch them fast,
Thier hearts can ne'er enjoy them, O.

But gie me a canny hour at e'en,
My arms about my Dearie, O;
An' warly cares, an' warly men,
May a' gae tapsalteerie, O!

For you sae douse, ye sneer at this,
Ye're nought but senseless asses, O:
The wisest Man o' the warl' saw,
He dearly lov'd the lasses, O.

Auld Nature swears, the lovely Dears
Her noblest work she classes, O:
Her prentice han' she try'd on man,
An' then she made the lasses, O.

--Robbie Burns

Mystery Video.

A Video.

Alabama Worker Practices Interaction With Local Bookstore Clerk

I had an interesting conversation with a clerk at the only bookstore in Etowah County. (The clerk informed me the only used bookstore closed down last year. ) I was looking for Choke by Chuck Palahnuik because it is the June book for an online bookclub I wanted to join. He said, "Really? There's an on-line booklcub reading a story about a sex addict who cons people for a living?" He was even more suprised when I told him it came from a list of 1001 books you must read before you die. He said he was glad he wasn't Palahnuik, with all the whack stuff in his head. When I mentioned I was here from Michigan he said "We don't see many people here from the Big Mitten." I think I'll have to use that from now on.

Being a little rusty on this conversaion with actual humans thing, I neglected to find out all kinds of things. Maybe I'll go back next Saturday and see if I can talk to someone again.

Beach Bunnies Episode 3: Welcome to another fascinating look the thelives of Beach Bunnies. Remember, they live this way so you won't have to.

not really sure what the Beach Bunnies are doing here..interpretive dance?


Sometimes Beach Bunnies need some instruction..Stop Denise! don't touch the palm frond, it might be covered in sea lice!

Beach Bunnies have been known to pick up a tome...

Sometimes they will inexplicably run away, as if they have been inexplicably frightened.

then, just as inexplicably they will run right back as if they were not frightened at all. (Maybe they were just practising their acting inexplicably frightened skills)


demonstrative of their affection for the native cabbage palm

Wonder what this Beach Bunnie is thinking about (answer: not much, her ass was pretty whipped from kayaking)


Beach Bunnie practising the long stretch move (showing that she is not a threat)

That is all for Beach Bunnies 3. Stay tuned for more beach-capades!

HIA Cartoonist Reveals Latest Work's Brilliance, Meanness

HIA Cartoonist R. Abeln has recently unveiled her latest work on her MySpace page. According to Abeln, her latest visual piece is remarkable in both it's sheer genius and also it's utter cruelty - to the artist herself.

"Sure it's mean - but that's what artists do, right? They suffer for their art. In my case literally. Because I view my whole life as a piece of performance art. As do others. Well. At least I assume so by their reactions to me."

Abeln's revolutionary work can be seen at myspace.com/suspiciouslypleased

New Unauthorized Autobiography Sheds Light, Tears

ATT: Vermillion. New West River Connection

Since you're such a happening group there in Vermillion, I'm sure you'll all be attending the poetry reading Friday night at the Coffee Shop Gallery. Say "Hi" to Donna Parks. She's the winner of this year's High Plains Writer's Poetry Contest. Her winning poem is going to be in the lit journal USD publishes. Tell her you're my friend and that you know the illusive Jason. I'm never sure if people believe me when I tell them I have friends.

A Fresh Idea

I think that a cool way to promote literacy amongst the American public would be for automobile manufacturers to start naming cars after punctuation and grammar terms. Can you imagine the "All New 2008 Metaphor" (probably a SUV) or how about the "utilitarian, yet sporty Comma." Or the affordable, yet luxurious sedan, the Simile" A word of caution however to the manufacturers, don't use period, that would be dumb, no one would buy a car named the Period.

Limerick Contest Suggested

While at the Coffee House Gallery, Christa mentioned how much she would like to hear a limerick with the word "plebotomist" in it. Shall we have a contest?

Macbeth + The Simpsons = MacHomer

What is one to make of this?:

This one-man vocal spectacular features impressions of over 50 voices from TV`s The Simpsons in a hilarious performance of Shakespeare`s Macbeth! With a script which remains 85% Shakespeare, MacHomer will leave you "exhausted with laughter" (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette).

It's coming to St. Paul, and Tris thinks we should go see it. Is the potential for disaster too great? What would you advise?

WInter Haiku

It seems there have been some stress related posts lately. In fact, I would submit that regardless of the Uppity bullshit from my first post, the Uppitiness in this blog is unrestrained. As a protocol of relaxation I suggest repeating this mantra at least 15 times during a 3o minute timeout you give yourself.

The snow is deeper than my dog is tall
Push it, push it
Fuck that, fuck'em all

And for the doubters, that is a Haiku on two levels - nature is invoked and there is an emotional ending. Wish I had some visuals to add.

Call for Submissions

The world has been waiting patiently for the return of the HIA News. Will you answer the call? The News is now accepting reportage, declarations, manifestos, lewd photographs, shout-outs, and fightin' words. All you have to do is accept your invitation to be a site author. If you haven't received one of these coveted invitations, please direct all supplication to The Editor at molldoll72 at hotmail dot com.

Note: HIA News accepts fiction, non-fiction, hyperbole, and outright lies. That is all.