Downsizing Reaches HIA News Office

Lakeland, FL Archivist for the HIA News, Denise Hardesty, was fired last weekend when the shocking depth of her neglect was discovered. After years of carting boxes of chaotic, mismatched files around for years, she finally sifted out all relating to the HIA News. While Issue #1 was proclaimed lost, master pages of issues 2-6 were pieced together. Also found was a folder containing unpublished submissions and notes for possible future story lines. Completely lacking regret, Hardesty replied, "It was stupid job anyway. People just gotta let go of the past. "

Vermillion Man O' the People Shares his Booty with the Community (*WINK*)

No, we don't mean THAT booty -he's been sharing that freely for years!!

After much nagging and whining and threats and bribes, A. Fish (Ladies Man - Man's Man - Man About Town) finally agreed to put some of his many pop-cultures treasures on display - Yes, it's "Al Fish's Kitsch-llection!"

And where better to do it than the public library - Vermillion's cultural hotspot!

Already the display has attracted a lot of attention - from the squeal of delight from the library staff to the teary-eyed nostaligia of the Baby Boomers to the fascinated gazes of the under 10 crowd.

This collection is only the tip of the iceberg and further installments are being negotiated.

It was no way to start the new year...

We have made it through our first severe weather. It has taken everything I have to force my little feet into socks for the past few days, the seemingly endless soupmaking, the curling up under flannel sheets, braving those first 5 minutes before the car warms up, it was all too much. The sadness of having to look at my frost-bitten bouganvillia was almost more than I could bear. That is why I just have not been able to post lately. But things are looking up, it is back to the 80's and sunny so now you can look forward to some more posts!

Where are all the HIA bloggers

Are you hungover? Laying in bed? Making love? I want to see some posts, stat!

Not Feeling Very Christmassy?

The Trainablez are here to help!

We've just added a little Chrsitmas ditty to our Myspace page for you all to enjoy . . . sure, it's bit minimal due to the fact that only Jefe, Al and Roxy answered the call, but it's almost too blisteringly hot to be a song for the holidays only!

I'm sure you're all wondering why it was just the three of us. Well, frankly, we were, too. The conclusions we came to were that either everybody else in the band hates Christmas or Africa. As they weren't there to clarify, I guess we'll never know . . .

And, of course, we know that a certain special someone in Florida has their eye on a certain prize - and don't worry. we're working up something tasty in the Glen Campbell vein.

In the meantime, get up with Christmas and The Trainablez new single!

http://www.myspace.com/thetrainablez

My Cat Is Wierdly Evil, by Adam Grigg

First, when it wants food, it begs and begs until your head almost explodes; and then it barfs up these hairballs all over the place, and usually exactly the same place where we step, where we sleep, or mostly in any unexpected place. You never know when you are going to step in puke.

And now, about the cat being irritating: if you let the cat out just before you go to bed, it wants back in at 2 am. Most of the time, just when you get calm, the cat knocks something really large over and you have a gigantic mess to clean up.

To sum it up, the cat is just one of the strangest cats ever. If you are nice to it, it will be nice to you, but that doesn't subside the barfing. My cat is just weird.

Editors note: This was written by corespondent Adam Grigg nearly a year ago, but due to a filing accident was just recently rediscovered.

Library Staff Member Comes Up with Myriad Excuses in Article and Flurry of Comment Posting

Normally I just let these things run their course. As a fellow librarian in Rapid City will tell you, we are a reserved people who don't go in for grand-standing and displays of attention-seeking behavior. But when libraries and their employees are improperly maligned, it's just gone too far. I decided I have to step in and make some badly needed adjustments.

I haven't been holding out on any storylines and/or pics concerning a much-mentioned Muskrat and Pheasant. I think I told everyone where they could see pictures of the two shining examples of taxidermy and fashion potential when I was first gainfully employed at this institution, ie the Vermillion Public Library website, ie here: http://vpl.sdln.net/meet_muskrat_and_pheasant.htm

And for historical accuracy, it is spelled Musky and the Pheas. And yes it is true that it issung to Chico and the Man, not Benny and the Jets, as some people insist on doing.

Also, as Mully can attest, I had some technical 'problem's with posting that 'mysteriously happened' shortly after my return from Florida. Somehow my account invitation 'expired' and I wasn't able to post anything. I only very recently regained this ability . . Interesting that this should happen shortly before I was able to reveal all about my time in the land of sock-free living . . . Mully insists it had nothing to do with her. And, honestly, what had she to gain by it . . . So . . . who would benefit the most by silencing me . . . .? The evidence remains unclear.

As far as our musical projects - honestly, as the artist I can't be expected to also promote. Surely that' our cataloger's/manager's role.

Also, I have been maintaining a high-profile on my MySpace page (here if it is for proof: http://www.myspace.com/suspiciouslypleased), which takes up a LOT of my time. It's time-consuming constantly reassuring Depeche Mode, and Jarvis Cocker and the Furureheads and Editors and Franz Ferdinand and Derren Brown that I really am their friend, above and beyond MySpace. Creative people are so sensitive.

And those are my reasons.

Great, Another Excuse for Iowan To Not Visit Florida

Recent sneak tornados that strike in the middle of the night will surely give well-known Iowan Kevin Klagge another reason to not visit Florida. Past excuses included hurricanes, gator attacks, christians, bugs, heat, people not wearing socks, and elderly drivers.