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Showing posts with label bogarting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bogarting. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Taxidermy at Last, No Thanks to Some People
Meet Muskie and Fez, who reside in the Vermillion library. You can see their comely caretaker fussing over them up top and then some random visitor posing with them in hopes of stealing a little of their glamorous sheen while partially blocking the shot with her head.
For some reason, the local photographer in Verm couldn't be bothered to post the photos himself and instead outsourced that task to a St. Paul resident. I wonder what the chances are of our getting to see images of the pair in their Easter outfits? I wouldn't get your hopes up.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Residents Beseech: "Eep-kay Ermillion-Vay on the own-Day Ow-Lay!"
(Somewhere Really Isolated and Not Navigable From Any Major Freeways in the Rural Midwest) - Residents of a small college town in the upper Midwest were troubled to find that they had recently been "discovered."
"We have been trying to fly below radar for quite some time now," said one anonymous resident. "But now that word has gotten out about the top-notch culinary, taxidermy, and lyrical talents of our locals, we're afraid the place is going to be swarming with defeated dot commers, Minnesotans -- and god it kills me to say it -- Floridians."
"Don't they see that once our comely country village is awash in those who wish to downsize their lifestyles, it will lose its inherent charm?" he added.
Once a stop on the counter-culture underground railroad, the unnamed rural community may now see fleets of Mini-Coopers and Jamba Juice huts dot its unfettered prairie landscape.
"I've already had several Californians and one Oregonian ask to see my work," confided one highly-private civil servant. "The one with the really expensive camera asked me for my autograph, but I noticed the words "Will Not Sue" on the paper I signed. Why Will instead of Sue? And why am I supposed to watch for the "Relocation Nation" column in the New York Times Style magazine?" she asked. "Should I be stocking up on felt from WalMart? What does it all mean?"
"We have been trying to fly below radar for quite some time now," said one anonymous resident. "But now that word has gotten out about the top-notch culinary, taxidermy, and lyrical talents of our locals, we're afraid the place is going to be swarming with defeated dot commers, Minnesotans -- and god it kills me to say it -- Floridians."
"Don't they see that once our comely country village is awash in those who wish to downsize their lifestyles, it will lose its inherent charm?" he added.
Once a stop on the counter-culture underground railroad, the unnamed rural community may now see fleets of Mini-Coopers and Jamba Juice huts dot its unfettered prairie landscape.
"I've already had several Californians and one Oregonian ask to see my work," confided one highly-private civil servant. "The one with the really expensive camera asked me for my autograph, but I noticed the words "Will Not Sue" on the paper I signed. Why Will instead of Sue? And why am I supposed to watch for the "Relocation Nation" column in the New York Times Style magazine?" she asked. "Should I be stocking up on felt from WalMart? What does it all mean?"
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Vermillion Residents Bogarting Good Blog Material
A weekend trip to Vermillion, S.D., revealed that HIA contributors residing there were keeping excellent blog stories to themselves. The reason for this secrecy was not disclosed.
Information not being shared by the trailergentsia includes:
* A song that features lovely harmonies about an overly friendly dog named Dingus.
* Videos of the regular hootenannies taking place in Vermillion, including a performance of "Stop Dragging my Heart Around"
* An third-place honor taken in the local arts council 2006 Chili Blues contest
* A song about IKEA love
* A taxidermied muskrat and pheasant known as "Muskie" and "Fez" who are regularly dressed in seasonal attire but apparently not photographed for HIA News readers
* Very entertaining videos from YouTube that could easily be linked to, if certain people could be bothered to think of others
As it turns out, a cetain biology-major Vermillion-ite had not even been told about the existence of the HIA News blog.
One hopes that the Vermillion trailergentsia will consider the significant entertainment needs of the HIA readership and correct these lapses as soon as possible.
Information not being shared by the trailergentsia includes:
* A song that features lovely harmonies about an overly friendly dog named Dingus.
* Videos of the regular hootenannies taking place in Vermillion, including a performance of "Stop Dragging my Heart Around"
* An third-place honor taken in the local arts council 2006 Chili Blues contest
* A song about IKEA love
* A taxidermied muskrat and pheasant known as "Muskie" and "Fez" who are regularly dressed in seasonal attire but apparently not photographed for HIA News readers
* Very entertaining videos from YouTube that could easily be linked to, if certain people could be bothered to think of others
As it turns out, a cetain biology-major Vermillion-ite had not even been told about the existence of the HIA News blog.
One hopes that the Vermillion trailergentsia will consider the significant entertainment needs of the HIA readership and correct these lapses as soon as possible.
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