Ewww.

Bad Cover Art is Good

This wacky cover comes from a website spotlighting bad bookcovers.

Best. Thrift. Score... EVER!

I have been going to the Civic Council for neigh on 25 years. In that quarter of a century I have never been privy to the likes of this whimsical shot glass holder. i had to pay 15 dollars for it because they obviously knew what they had. Above is a photo before one removes the shot glass, and below is a photo taken shortly after the shot glass has been removed.

Bottom Feeders

Had to post this, as the whole fish-in-urethra was a topic of discussion in Hermosa. No, it wasn't about Al. It was those damn biologists, Jeffe and Erica, trying to cram knowledge and facts into the conversation. Some people!

My Cat Is Wierdly Evil, by Adam Grigg

First, when it wants food, it begs and begs until your head almost explodes; and then it barfs up these hairballs all over the place, and usually exactly the same place where we step, where we sleep, or mostly in any unexpected place. You never know when you are going to step in puke.

And now, about the cat being irritating: if you let the cat out just before you go to bed, it wants back in at 2 am. Most of the time, just when you get calm, the cat knocks something really large over and you have a gigantic mess to clean up.

To sum it up, the cat is just one of the strangest cats ever. If you are nice to it, it will be nice to you, but that doesn't subside the barfing. My cat is just weird.

Editors note: This was written by corespondent Adam Grigg nearly a year ago, but due to a filing accident was just recently rediscovered.

ok,ok so the rumours were true...

sunbutter baby. Look out world, here he is.

10 Year Old Unchanged By Birthday

After spending an entire week in the double digits, new 10 year old Adam Grigg admits he doesn't feel any different. He predicts more noticeable changes in the future, claiming, "When I'm 13 I'll probably like girls. Because of hormones--you know, the same thing that makes your armpits stink."

'Artist's Way' Group Meets, Discusses Vaginas and Monkey Sex

Julia Cameron (author of 'The Artist's Way') would be thrilled to know that her book has inspired local creative types to not only form their own support network, but also not limit their discussions strictly to 'art'.

After finishing their discussion on this weeks excercises, the group moved on to discuss gender roles and relationships, body imagine, hetrosexual porn, plastic-y poo, prolapsed anuses, vaginas and monkey sex.

"The crucial moment when we all had this intense epiphany, was when Krista was able to merge two separate streams of consciousness by bringing up the 'pussy-faced monkey' from National Geographic . . . we were all, like . . . wow. . . . you know. Brilliant. Simply brilliant. I think she going to be branching out doing monkey-faced vaginas. Just turning that shit on it's HEAD!" said, participant R. Abeln.

"I think this is gonna be the best "Artist's Way group ever!!"

Biblical Clairity

Howdy folks!
With Ramses the talk of the town I thought I could use this as an excellent opportunity to show just what a damned good Christian I am. additionally I thought I could sweep up to the moral high ground and look down upon all you lowly sinners and your wicked, wicked ways-cause you know Jesus loves everyone-but I'm His favorite.

Behold! Rendered masterfully in fine highly detailed (yet still perfectly understandable for all of you non arty folk) sculpture are the exciting (and completely true) biblical stories you have either come to know and love or cower in fear of our precious savior. Each vignette a purpose filled moral lesson told from a marvelous medium.

I present to you-to save your souls-
http://www.thebricktestament.com/judges/index.html#gang_rape_and_dismemberment

The Right Reverend Buk Wessul

Delayed Comment

A few days back, when Mully clued us in on the Swiss art-lover named Ramses, I commented that Al should make the requisite condom joke. He did:

you are so well read! i didn't even think about 'ramses' being the name of a condom.

i don't know who should be more embarrassed; me for not knowing such a thing, or you for wasting your time reading condom wrappers. i envision you reading the back of the package the same way children read the back of cereal boxes...staring at it unblinkingly while chewing listlessly at the contents.

(He sent it via e-mail so as to spare me the pain of humiliation in a public forum, but it was too funny to keep to myself. It's guilt-free, Al!)

Friend Tries to Make Other Friend Feel Bad About Killing Alot of Boxelder Bugs(even though she killed them like 8 years ago)

Denise Hardesty(aka the lil' bitch) recently sent her friend Molly Wortham a 40th birthday present. The present included an anti-aging skin care product(loved it, it worked wonders) and some sort of propaganda about the harmlessness, even benevolence of boxelder bugs, written poetically by some minnesotan...with parts underlined about how they never hurt anyone. I did kill an awful lot of those little creatues. Maybe she is right, maybe it is poetic justice that I live the the land of giant palmetto bugs(aka cockroaches), mosquitos in January, fire ants in my driveway...I'm so sorry boxelder bugs......that is what I am thinking as I crush various Florida insects under my sandal-clad feet(now that it is february and I no longer am forced to wear socks).