Emo Teen and Two Adults Latest Victims of Mind Control

RAPID CITY, SD. The mysterious entity responsible for making millions of people run for no apparent reason grasped control of 3 more residents this past week. While she had known many victims over the past 30 years, local woman, Denise Hardesty, had previously believed herself to be immune to such attacks. "There was no piercing noise, bright light, nor sharp pain in my head. I really don't know how they do it. One minute I'm making polite conversation about some race flyers on the kitchen table, the next minute I have a training schedule in one hand, a telephone in the other and I'm asking my niece if she wants to run a 1/2 marathon with me." The niece, Ashley Grigg, confimed the report but indicated a potential weakness in the mind-control-by-phone-line as she first believed she would merely be helping her aunt, not actually racing herself. Unfortunately for Grigg's father, former victim Brian Grigg, who had been free of mind control for 8 years, conversation about the race occurred in the vicinity of the couch he was lounging on and the next thing he knew he was outside running with the other two victims. The 3 have completed their first week of training and, though still bewildered, remain in high spirits. Hardesty claims one should remain positive claiming, "There's still hope we can regain control of our faculties before we reach double digit mileage." "It's ok, running's cool." added the younger Grigg.