Molly Wortham has been quite busy planning for her sister's first visit to Florida. The excitement builds as the day of her arrival draws near. "Renee has left me in charge of the intinerary, and I know for sure that a Florida trip would not be complete without a visit to the wonderful world of Disney, lucky for us, Florida residents can get these awesome deals. You can stay all day long and just soak up the fun. There are all kind of rides, and characters, and excited midwestern children all over the place. I know this would be just the thing to cure her wintertime/apocalyptic blues".
Molly's other plans for her sister include a volunteer opportunity at a local thrift shop, clearing the yard of palm fronds, and posing for cute pictures.
Showing posts with label apocalypse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apocalypse. Show all posts
Friday, February 16, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Vermillion Librarian Knits, prepares for apocalypse
According to reliable sources in Siouxland, a Vermillion librarian has spent the last two days watching 3 Matrix movies and 2 Resident Evil movies and Constantine while knitting afghans.
When asked for comment, she reportedly said "Look. I'm a few steps ahead of the rest of you. I can see the future, man. You can believe what you like. All I know is, when climate change hits, and when the Matrix begomes apparent, and when the T-virus hits our streets and the demons began to cross over into our realm due to the assistance of a vengeful angel . . . then who'll look crazy for knitting all the afghans and scarves?? Yeah. That's right. All of you are gonna be all 'Oh, I wish I had a scarf, I wish I thought to make knitted throw to protect me from machines with AI and the Nemesis project and Mammon, the son of Satan . . . .' . . and I'll be all like, 'Too bad, suckas!! I only got enough knitted goods for me!! And Keanu. Beat it, losers!! . . . yeah, I'll be right with ya, Keanu.... do you need another afghan?' "
Sources close to the Librarian indicate she has been eating a lot of procressed chees lately, which may account for her warped state of mind. Authorities are monitoring the situation and a knitting intervention is planned. Local video rental agencies have be advised not to let her rent any movie with apocalyptic content or starring Keanu Reeves.
Keanu Reeves' agents have been alerted as a security precaution.
When asked for comment, she reportedly said "Look. I'm a few steps ahead of the rest of you. I can see the future, man. You can believe what you like. All I know is, when climate change hits, and when the Matrix begomes apparent, and when the T-virus hits our streets and the demons began to cross over into our realm due to the assistance of a vengeful angel . . . then who'll look crazy for knitting all the afghans and scarves?? Yeah. That's right. All of you are gonna be all 'Oh, I wish I had a scarf, I wish I thought to make knitted throw to protect me from machines with AI and the Nemesis project and Mammon, the son of Satan . . . .' . . and I'll be all like, 'Too bad, suckas!! I only got enough knitted goods for me!! And Keanu. Beat it, losers!! . . . yeah, I'll be right with ya, Keanu.... do you need another afghan?' "
Sources close to the Librarian indicate she has been eating a lot of procressed chees lately, which may account for her warped state of mind. Authorities are monitoring the situation and a knitting intervention is planned. Local video rental agencies have be advised not to let her rent any movie with apocalyptic content or starring Keanu Reeves.
Keanu Reeves' agents have been alerted as a security precaution.
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