Poll Proves South Dakotans Ignorant

Rapid City, SD. Polls indicate a shocking ignorance among South Dakotans of the Dolly Parton song "Jolene." 100% of the five people surveyed said they had no knowedge of the song. While claiming to recognize the name Dolly Parton, not one of the individuals could name any song written by the Country star.

Pollster Denise Hardesty, clearly shaken, describes her reaction to the poll: "I was all excited to share my copy of the White Stripe's rendition of "Jolene" when it dawned on me that my friends had no idea what I was talking about. I mean, I've lived here over ten years and nothing has made me feel like I'm on another planet quite like this."