Scenes from Happenin' Vermtown

Al Suave

Al Especial

Jefe & Renee Sizzlin'

Jefe Impressing Lee

Oogie Oogie Oogie

Who Is This Man?

Chicas Calientes

Some of Us Don't Have to Try So Hard

Renee Gettin' Religion

MmmmrreOW!

Luscious Lindy

Rumpus Room!

Friend Tries to Make Other Friend Feel Bad About Killing Alot of Boxelder Bugs(even though she killed them like 8 years ago)

Denise Hardesty(aka the lil' bitch) recently sent her friend Molly Wortham a 40th birthday present. The present included an anti-aging skin care product(loved it, it worked wonders) and some sort of propaganda about the harmlessness, even benevolence of boxelder bugs, written poetically by some minnesotan...with parts underlined about how they never hurt anyone. I did kill an awful lot of those little creatues. Maybe she is right, maybe it is poetic justice that I live the the land of giant palmetto bugs(aka cockroaches), mosquitos in January, fire ants in my driveway...I'm so sorry boxelder bugs......that is what I am thinking as I crush various Florida insects under my sandal-clad feet(now that it is february and I no longer am forced to wear socks).

Great, Another Excuse for Iowan To Not Visit Florida

Recent sneak tornados that strike in the middle of the night will surely give well-known Iowan Kevin Klagge another reason to not visit Florida. Past excuses included hurricanes, gator attacks, christians, bugs, heat, people not wearing socks, and elderly drivers.

Temps dropping from cotton to wool socks

Last night I had dinner at Evelyn's with Merle's daughters and grandaughter. The younger daughter, Cristi?, was showing us her rather fancy MySpace page complete with slideshow. One of the pictures fading up through the star cut-out was that of everybody's favorite cousin. In this land of free association I wondered why he was wearing such a conservative blue shirt. I always think of Merle in those bright, verging on neon, striped western shirts. Then I thought of him as Parade Marshall at the Hermosa 4th of July Parade and remembered the shrine to the small engine with the flat-bed trailer carrying all those two-stroke engines merrily chugging away and then I tried to remember who threw better candy, the Republicans or the Democrats? or was it all the same?

Speaking of the Amish...

Guess who looks like he is going on rumplespringer(whatever they call it)

Dreams of Having a Molly-Rubbing-It-In-Your-Face-That-You-Don't-Live-In-A-Tropical-Paradise-Free Lifestyle Crushed By Latest Blog Posting

Mully, our prayers our with you. Please let us know if we need to arrange a relief-drop of thick socks and cold-weather hosiery.

Mike and I Were Almost Amish Yesterday

So we have a convertor box for the TEEvee and the DVD player, and one or more of the cats chewed through the adapter cord. Back in my day, replacing a jack just meant going to the store and buying a jack, however, because "techmology is very important in our world today," adaptors now come with a host of plug-in's and warnings about not reversing the polarities, or one will blow out the electricity for the entire tri-county area.

So Mike took the be-chewed adaptor to the Walls of Mart, and the electronics dude gave him forewarnings as mentioned above about the doom and destruction he would wreak upon the earth were we to buy the wrong adaptor.

Last night we ventured back to WalMart with the entire convertor box to make sure we did not flirt with the apocolypse. On the way, I wondered if we would get a clerk who would look at us askance and just be like, "Um, yeah, you just need this thing. It's $3.99 American dollars. You can take it to the counter and they'll ring it up for you."

My worry was that the initial dude just freaked us out and that buying the jack wasn't that big of a deal, and that by bringing in the entire convertor, Mike and I would look like we had just ridden our buggy three hours into town to ask the worldy ones if the spirits inside the little black box that bring the evil talking pictures into our home had perished.

"Is God punishing us for when Michael Patrick took up the saw that is fueled by the oil of Satan at Abraham's barn raising last fall?" we would beseech the freaked-out clerk. "Would the people inside the box return if we read enough scripture?"

"Does it make God angry that we look to the demon cube during His harsher winters when our fingers are too numb for cross-stitch or whittling toys for the kinder? We fear He will not heed our prayers; prithee, will you tell Him that we only gaze upon This Old House, and only after He cast away the Baywatch?"

Fortunately, we got a gearhead clerk who was excited to tell us about the features on our new adaptor and why we had chosen the perfect jack for our television-viewing needs. So last night I saw "The Jerk" for the first time. I know -- I'm the last American child of the 70's who hadn't seen it. I can't believe I lived a life without knowing the horrors of kitten juggling.