I Know. I'm Phoning it In.

Midterms have me a bit whack, so I'm going to be feckless and syndicate. For cute pix of Al, Renee, et. al., and for shots of our new apartment:
http://superblogmuch.blogspot.com/

Long Term Forest Service Employee Looking for New Job, or, Slacker Seeks Mystic Revelation in Sunshine

After working year round for 3 consecutive years, I find myself unemployed. This may be the first summer in 11 years that I don't work for the Forest Service. Perhaps it will be a liberating experience.

I have much to contemplate. It is supposed to reach 80 degrees here today, so I think it wise if I head to the Cathedral Spires for a little meditation on rock and perhaps unveil the path to my future. HIA News will get the scoop when such mysteries are solved.

I HATE COMMENTS AND THINK I WONT USE THEM ANYMORE

I don't really like using comments with these articles. There may come a time in my life when I have a little more going on and don't have the luxury of scrolling through all the old articles seeing if there are any new comments. And after a few weeks of having great fun and accomplishing big things I might want to comment on some bit of news that will by that time be old news and nobody else will scroll that far back and my comments will be missed which will mean I will have wasted my time.

So I hearby inform you all that henceforward all of my comments will appear in the form of articles. In case I get sick of that, too, and decide to just use headlines.

Sad Neglected Blog Languishes on InterWeb

The HIA News blog was reportedly sighing loudly this week, and mumbling about being ignored by its authors. "With 11 contributors, you'd think someone would have something to say," it said, rolling it's eyes. "I guess they just can't be bothered."

When asked if the it had expressed these thoughts to the blog authors, the rather passive-aggressive HIA News stomped off in a huff.

Center For Therapeutic Weeding to Open Anytime

Located in lovely Lakeland Florida, our center will open anytime anyone who wants to pay to do some weeding shows up.

We offer excellent rates for the enjoyment of removing all types of exotic weeds including but not limited to: pig-taters, skunk weed, dog-fennel, sand-spurs, epiphytes, spurge, duckweed, and monkey-grass.

For a slight additional charge guests may remove Spanish moss(watch out for chiggers), or do thrip-picking, and palm grooming.

The deluxe package includes chopping a fire-hazard size pile of shedded palm-fronds, and cleaning out a really skanky pond.

Make your reservations today as limited spots are available.

(Price breaks are available for those afflicted with WHAD.)

Underemployed Sculptor Whores Himself Out-Again

Yeah, I herd there was a chance to design the commemorative center for a bunch of Wads. Whads. Whatever. So I whipped up these drawings to show to my potential clients the proposed designs for their center. Initially the concept revolved around a snowshovel design-the scoop making a nice graceful arc to shade a person from the weather. I was thinking along the lines of the Sydney Opera house except with tin sheeting instead of stainless steel.
One of them, I think it was Nee said it looked like a halfassed homeless shelter. The other one-The Blonde says "Homeless "shed" Nee"- then they both started cackling-you know how they are...
The next designs worked around the forms they are accustomed to -themselves-"Now you're getting somewhere" one of them said excitedly. So I went with a sunglass motif-The front of the lenses would be an observation deck, while on the "inside" there would be huge projected images of Nee and Mully. One image per lense. Cool. they really liked that one.
The one that looks like the profile of the two is what I think they will settle on. They liked the idea of it being carved out of carera marble and trimmed out in formica banding. A nice touch I have to add. Mully expressed an interest at this point and recomended they forget about the WADS and just have a martini and sushi bar inside instead.

Sisters Announce Plans To Found New Charity To Benefit Victims of Obscure Mental Disorder

Sisters and part-time supermodels Nee and Mully recently unveiled plans to establish a new charity that will benefit those who suffer from WHAD. In an exclusive interview with HIA News, they laid out a few of the sketchy details.

WHAD( winter hosiery affective disorder), also known to laymen as "sock madness", affects an untold number of Midwesterners. It has no cure, and treatment options are limited. Symptoms include, but are not limited to: an over-exacting approach to metal tool -based removal of cold precipitation flakes, and having delusions about the moral values and behaviors of close friends.

"Our mission is two-fold," Stated Mully, "first of all we simply must educate the public about this devastating disorder. You often do not realize how disastrous the effects can be until it hits you close to home. We have a close friend who became affected, and it really opened our eyes."

"Just as important is raising funds for research," added Nee, "Currently nothing is being done, and it is people with our kind of visibility that can bring this issue to the forefront. Once we get out there and tell their stories, raising the funds will be no problem. People with WHAD are like anyone, only more crazy. We will need to work hard to make sure they are not marginalized, and give them hope for a cure."

"Part-time supermodels are well-known for their charity work and we are no exception. Certainly it would be easier to turn our backs on these individuals, but what we believe in is reaching out. Our schedules are so super-exhausting, but somehow between shopping, lounging, and going on location, we will find a way."