A Fresh Idea

I think that a cool way to promote literacy amongst the American public would be for automobile manufacturers to start naming cars after punctuation and grammar terms. Can you imagine the "All New 2008 Metaphor" (probably a SUV) or how about the "utilitarian, yet sporty Comma." Or the affordable, yet luxurious sedan, the Simile" A word of caution however to the manufacturers, don't use period, that would be dumb, no one would buy a car named the Period.

shining example of human potential...REALISED!

Item! Local area intrepid reporter scoops librarian. Please note this exclusive photo of Musky and the Pheas bedressed in their Easter finery. As of this reporter's posting, the library's website still would have you believe that they were celebrating St. Patrick's day....so last month.

Clutter-Nut Seeks Help from Friends

Rapid City, SD-Trapped between an overwhelming desire to unclutter her life and a pathological inability to throw anything away, woman turns to friends for help.

Inspired by an "art happening" of an earlier decade, Denise Hardesty has begun putting her unwanted items into envelopes addressed to friends with the intention of mailing them.

"Granted it's more of a 'junk happening' and I'm not mailing to total strangers, but to people who know and love me, or at least talked to me in a coffee shop. After all if strangers call the cops because they receive really cool handmade original postcards from an unknown source, imagine what they'd do if they got an envelope full of broken jewellery or loose nuts and bolts? Not to mention all those used earplugs. No, I think I'm better off calling on the help of friends."

Librarian Hopes to Distract People From Lack of Posting with YouTube Clip

Hey kids! Have you seen this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khS4zlinxk0&mode=related&search=

Ninjas! I LOVE those guys!

Library Staff Member Comes Up with Myriad Excuses in Article and Flurry of Comment Posting

Normally I just let these things run their course. As a fellow librarian in Rapid City will tell you, we are a reserved people who don't go in for grand-standing and displays of attention-seeking behavior. But when libraries and their employees are improperly maligned, it's just gone too far. I decided I have to step in and make some badly needed adjustments.

I haven't been holding out on any storylines and/or pics concerning a much-mentioned Muskrat and Pheasant. I think I told everyone where they could see pictures of the two shining examples of taxidermy and fashion potential when I was first gainfully employed at this institution, ie the Vermillion Public Library website, ie here: http://vpl.sdln.net/meet_muskrat_and_pheasant.htm

And for historical accuracy, it is spelled Musky and the Pheas. And yes it is true that it issung to Chico and the Man, not Benny and the Jets, as some people insist on doing.

Also, as Mully can attest, I had some technical 'problem's with posting that 'mysteriously happened' shortly after my return from Florida. Somehow my account invitation 'expired' and I wasn't able to post anything. I only very recently regained this ability . . Interesting that this should happen shortly before I was able to reveal all about my time in the land of sock-free living . . . Mully insists it had nothing to do with her. And, honestly, what had she to gain by it . . . So . . . who would benefit the most by silencing me . . . .? The evidence remains unclear.

As far as our musical projects - honestly, as the artist I can't be expected to also promote. Surely that' our cataloger's/manager's role.

Also, I have been maintaining a high-profile on my MySpace page (here if it is for proof: http://www.myspace.com/suspiciouslypleased), which takes up a LOT of my time. It's time-consuming constantly reassuring Depeche Mode, and Jarvis Cocker and the Furureheads and Editors and Franz Ferdinand and Derren Brown that I really am their friend, above and beyond MySpace. Creative people are so sensitive.

And those are my reasons.

Introducing Benjamin

Mr. Benjamin Wolfgang Batterham was born Monday 26 March, 7lbs - and 2 1/2 weeks early . That's his dad, Jon, holding him. Some of you may remember his mother, Danielle Franke, who grew up here in Rapid City. When I first moved to town she was one of Blaise Martin's roommates. She then went on to Africa (I can't remember where), Japan and back to Rapid. She now appears to have settled in London. Congratulations to Dani and Jon, and a hearty welcome to young Ben.

Worry Not: You Are Always Real Good Looking in This Rural Mecca

That's another one of Vermillion's best-kept secrets -- with its flattering prairie lighting, you are always guaranteed to be real good looking!

You also attain the voice of an angel (Stop Dragging Our Hearts Around, Renee!), the IQ of a savant (dig Jefe's off-the-charts GRE score!), underwear model hair (guilty!) and a flair for limerick writing (Go Yotes!).

If that's not enough, you get to sup at Market Street Cafe's all-you-can-eat fish n' ribs buffet, where you can hang with sweet-natured monks who lovingly call you a "dirty, sinning whore," and who then dissolve into adorable giggles. Not enough, you say? How about screening Blades of Glory and crying tears of joy with many of your best friends as you hear the first strains of "Flash! Aaahh-aaaaah!"

Out shall come your inner Joan Cusack, as you stroll through new-to-you boutiques bedecked with cute orange bunnies and public libraries brimming with local fashion-forward varmints and game.

Have you made your Cindo de Mayo plans yet? Good luck finding authentic Mexican celebrations in Florida or St. Paul, let alone Rapid City! Meanwhile, tongues here are awag about Muskie and The Fez's upcoming fiestaware!

Vermillion -- it's not just a hub for people wondering what to do with their lives anymore!